Moralizing fatness

Those who don't find it hard to be skinny can't possibly relate to people who don't. The problem is, you can't usually tell by looking at someone whether they find it easy or hard to be skinny or not. But it is a good guess that if they moralize fatness, it is probably a good indicator that they find it relatively easy to be skinny. 

The truth is, obesity is multifactorial and not a moral failing, and science supports this. Not to mention that obesity happened to not be an issue a century before but is somehow an issue now (but I suppose some think that everyone just became lazier en masse??). But maybe it is too easy for me to attribute the moral failing view as a lack of empathy -- maybe it is more for lack of imagination, which I try here to alleviate. 

I could easily be that way -- attributing weight to character -- and it was me for many years. I believed that it was simply my lack of willpower that kept me heavier than many of my friends. In hindsight, I realize that if it weren't for my enjoyment of activities which happened to be of a physical nature (sports), I might have easily been far more overweight or even obese. I'm not sure how much willpower I could have summoned and from where to fight that. So I don't have to imagine. 

I've recently lost a few pounds and people have started to notice. Over the course of several months I adopted some changes that helped, all entirely mindset-related: 

1. Weight is a mindset, in that if you change your habits and mindset overnight, you're technically 20 pounds lighter in "equilibrium weight" -- it's just that the physical weight takes time to catch up and reflect that. 
2. I've become more aware of my binge eating habits. I really enjoy food, but more than that I use it emotionally, particularly sugar. I don't draw any hard lines around foods, but instead tell myself that it is a possibility to have a few bites and just stop, and that it might even be just as enjoyable. 
3. And to make it enjoyable, I remember and compensate myself for stopping by feeling good about being healthy or skinny(er). Even fantasizing about how it would feel works -- just as long as I remember the goal. An obstacle here is thinking that this is only a drop in the bucket, but again it's important to remember (1): weight is a mindset, that choice is effectively a massive choice. 

More than anything, the important part is remembering why you are doing this. But this is the key, I think, to help people realize that it's not a moral failing. Because of genetic or environmental factors and factors related to your upbringing, it's far more manual for certain people to be skinny. Imagine having to run a conscious process every time you eat something or want to eat something! I'm not saying it's necessarily very difficult or impossible, that people should just give up. But it's certainly an extra burden, and amidst busy lives or other mental struggles one might forget to remember. 

The thing is, nobody is perfect -- everyone forgets to remember something habitually in their lives. Everyone neglects something: whether it is cleaning or maintaining their home to whatever standard, or keeping up with relationships, or scrolling too much on social media or not getting enough sleep. 

It's just unfortunate that for fat people, that "thing" happens to be on display to the public 24/7.

You might argue: if your weight is so apparent and you know this, why would you struggle to remember? It's not a bad idea -- use that emotion, channel that fear of judgement into a motivator. But how to remind ourselves of this fear of judgement, when that judgement isn't around? What do we do when people aren't constantly yelling at us a la "The Biggest Loser"? The most effective method, of course, is by associating that fear of judgement with the food itself. And in fact we can further shortcut that process: associate food directly with fear and negativity. And we wonder why we have a problem with eating disorders. 

In all seriousness, it's really hard for "fear of judgement" to overcome the strong urges to eat. It does work to some extent, but you'll eventually burn out and end up binge eating. That's because it is really stressful, unsustainable, and most importantly just unhappy. And unhappy people tend to eat. 

What people should realize is that it's nontrivial to build a proper system and re-incentivize your brain to stay skinny. It certainly is nontrivial for me, and there is no guarantee I'll stay this way. I have a suspicion that I'm only a few negative life events and mental health points away from failing -- and that's the key. In summary:

• For some, food is a battle, and for some, it is not (as much). 
  
• It is certainly possible to win that battle.
• However, everyone can fight so many battles at once, and everyone fights different battles. 
• It's unfair for those whom it isn't as hard of a battle to moralize the failings of those who do fight that battle.